Today's Amazon.com Package of Goodies.

Today's Amazon.com package of goodies. (On Twitpic.)

Yes, that's some good stuff:

AMERICAN VAMPIRE vol. 1 by Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuquerque, and Stephen King.
THE COMPLETE ESSEX COUNTY by Jeff Lemire.
THE WALKING DEAD vol. 11 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard.
TELLING LIES FOR FUN & PROFIT by Lawrence Block.

AND...

ART & SKULDUGGERY: The Art of Tony Harris. (This is amazing!)

Week of Vacation - Mar. 16th - 22nd

Double the Fun

In an attempt to double the amount of fun had this vacation, I’m going to try workout twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Now, this might not work everyday, but it’s something to shoot for, especially after a week of nothing like last week (I know, I know; I said I’d not dwell on that - much.).

I will be able to read and review two short stories a day this entire week. There are quite a few collections I want to delve deeper into, and this is a great opportunity to do just that. I haven’t decided if I’ll focus on one specific author all week, or look at a theme. I’ll decide that this first day.

Goals

While on vacation from work I want to accomplish something. Many somethings, really. These are all the projects or goals I’ve set for this week:

• Create a budget – something that will involve a look at my finances, something I dread, but need to do.

• Read 100 plus pages a day in the many novels I have half-completed, or just started. It would be nice to clear these books off some of the many Shelves of the Unread.

• Get current with my weekly comics. There are more in this stack than you may believe.

• Along the same lines as the reading goal, I want to complete one comic collection (TPB or HC) a day.

• Clean my entire home – thoroughly. It is “spring cleaning” time.

• File my piles and piles of papers, two years worth and growing.

• Backup computer files on both computers. I say I’ll do this and I never do, and it has come back to bite me in the (you know) with the laptop.

• Start a Flickr account in the hopes of pursuing the whole photography thing. I think I’d enjoy it if I just knew a little more, and this might provide the motivation to learn.

Writing

While the blogging has kept me writing nearly every day, it is not the type of writing I wish to pursue as a future career. More creative writing is called for. To that end, I will write one short story this week. I’ll also work on developing a weekly comic strip that I can post up on the blog. The illustration may not be great (but it does provide me the opportunity to practice and become stronger), but hopefully I can create something worth checking out weekly.

Fitness

I’ve been doing the whole exercise and diet thing sort of willy nilly. I’d like to develop a workout plan that moves me toward a goal, but in a way that doesn’t seem too rigid, I honestly believe that the flexibility of a plan is the key to its success. I’ll also try and work on something of a diet plan that incorporates all I’ve learned so far (fruits and veggies, hydration, fiber), and that will easily allow for new learning as the year and challenges continue.

Sounds ambitious for a week, I know. Still, I need something, or I’m positive I’ll find myself sacked out in “the chair” in front of the TV all week long. That is not how I want to spend my vacation.

Multiple Invitations

I'm being asked to Twitter and to write at Helium. There are new challenges being thrown down. The idea of a Flickr account has been tempting me for a little while. The girl wants my attention.

Where do I find the time? (Trust me, I'll find it; I am loving the hell out of all this writing - sharing.)

The possibilities are endless and overwhelming and amazing.

Inauguration 2009

I'm not normally one who follows politics, or has any interest in watching "news-related" programming on TV. Today I did watch an hour - the important hour - of the Presidential Inauguration.

I don't believe I've ever heard Barack Obama speak (like I mentioned, I don't follow politics at all). He's a great public speaker, so much better than his predecessor. I was inspired by his speech (but then again, I'm easily inspired by well-crafted writing presented powerfully). It was hopeful and didn't ignore the problems we face as a country.

He mentioned a passage (from the bible?) about "giving up childish things" that sort of hit home for me. Do I focus too much of my attention on entertainment - something some would classify as childish and unnecessary - instead of more enlightened pursuits and practices? Could I be doing more with my time - and money - to help others and thereby myself?

Big questions for a entertainment pirate to ponder while nursing a worsening cold at bedtime on an extremely busy and stressing week.

I will say that I also enjoyed tremendously the performance by Yo Yo Ma, Itzak Perlman, Anthony McGill, and Gabriela Montero, of an arrangement by John Williams titled, "Air and Simple Gifts." The original poem, "Praise Song for the Day," read by author/poet Elizabeth Alexander, was also very good.

A Halloween Story (part II)

UNDER THE BED

(continued from part I)

If it wasn’t Donald, that left only one person. Dad.

Douglas’ dad was the kind of man who thought he was funnier than he truly was. And scaring his own two sons was hilarious to him. In fact, he thought a little fright built character. It was why Douglas didn’t get in trouble every time he tormented Donald.

It was also why Douglas poked his head out from under the covers.

“Dad? If that’s you,” Douglas said, “you scared me. Okay? You can stop now.”

Douglas paused a moment. “Dad?”

Nooooo dad. The voice sounded stronger. Closer. I’ll see you soo-oon.

Douglas didn’t know what was under his bed. He didn’t care. At that moment he knew one thing, and one thing only. He had to escape.

The window was closest, but it was also two stories down to the ground. Even if Douglas made it to the window before the thing under his bed caught him, he couldn’t be sure he’d actually jump from so high up. He was not a fan of heights.

In his mind he could picture little Donald sitting up on a tree branch, unafraid of heights, laughing down at Douglas who frantically called up for help as bony, clawed hands reached up from the ground, grasping at Douglas’ legs.

Shaking the image from his head, Douglas looked for another way out. It was too far to the door to make it safely out of the room. Somehow he knew that if he stood up on his bed to try and get a running start, the monster would know and attack before his feet left the cushion of the mattress.

It was hopeless.

Heh, heh, heh, the voice chuckled. The bed shook, just a little, with each short laugh.

Douglas hung his head. He didn’t mean to cry, but it was all he could do. The tears dripped from his eyes, rolled down his cheeks, and fell – plit, plit, plit – on his pillow.

And then it hit him. He knew just how to escape.

Douglas slipped silently out from underneath his covers. He grabbed his pillow in one hand and scooted on his bottom to the foot of the bed. He could hear the thing underneath shifting around, following the sound of his movements.

Taking a deep breath, Douglas dropped the pillow beside the bed. As soon as it hit the ground with an airy pluff, Douglas shot from the foot of the bed. In two quick bounds Douglas was at the door, nimbly twisting the doorknob, bursting into the brightly lit hallway. He slammed the door shut behind him, sinking down to the ground with his back against the sealed off room.

When he looked up he saw both of his parents staring down at him.

“Honey?” mom said. “What’s going on?”

Douglas could not speak. He continued to gasp for the breath he lost in his dash to safety.

But from out of the corner of his eye he noticed Donald standing still in his doorway. In one hand he held his battered, brown stuffed bear. On his face was plastered a smile that stretched from ear to ear. Slowly – very slowly – Donald raised his other hand up to his face. He put his index finger in front of his grinning lips and whispered very softly, shhhhhh.

The End.

Copyright 2008 Josh Shaver

A Halloween Story (part I)

UNDER THE BED

Douglas Grayson was convinced the voice came from under his bed. The voice was no louder than a whisper, but he was sure he heard something.

Sooon, the voice had said. I’ll see you soon.

Douglas sat with his back against the headboard, clutching the covers tight against his chest. His heart was beating quick and loud and his breath was caught somewhere between his lungs and open mouth.

It was late and dark. Douglas’ eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and he was able to make out his desk, the chest of drawers, his closet, and the T.V. Everything in its place, just as it should be.

Turning his ear to listen once more, Douglas sought the sound that had awoken him from what he remembered to be quite the cheery dream. There were puppies and ice cream and no school. Even his little brother Donald was nowhere to be seen. It was the kind of dream no one would want to leave.

But that voice – that sneaky, slick hiss – pulled him out of wonderland. And into darkness.

And into fear and frantic eyes searching a still room.

Douglas listened. Nothing. No sound but that of the wind outside tapping gently against the side of the house.

Maybe it was all in his imagination, Douglas thought. His mother had warned him about watching scary movies right before bed. Of course scary movies had never bothered him before. Tonight he was even able to convince Donald that Chuck vs. the Zombies was totally appropriate for a five year old, and not in the least bit terrifying or frightening.

It didn’t take but five minutes and one slow-moving, hideously disfigured, moaning zombie to send Donald silently screaming from the sofa.

Donald had not said a word in the six months since Douglas had popped out from inside his closet one night as he was just about to fall asleep. Wearing a blood-red clown’s nose and sharp, hairy wolf man claws, Douglas had simply scared the voice right out of his little brother.

Could little Donald be out for revenge? He was small enough, Douglas thought. He could have slipped under the bed as I was sleeping. He had given Douglas an eerie twitch of a smile as he padded in his pajama-clad feet off to bed that night.

“Donny?” Douglas whispered. “Is that you?”

The room was silent. Nothing moved. Nothing answered back.

Douglas relaxed. His white-knuckle grip on the sheets loosened. He took a deep breath. Moving to the side of his bed, Douglas dropped his head into the space between his bed and the floor.

Ssssoooon, the voice spat from deep underneath the bed.

Douglas jerked his head up and slammed his back against the headboard. He threw the bedcovers over his head, hugging his knees tightly between shaking arms.

Definitely not Donald.

(to be continued)

Copyright 2008 Josh Shaver

New Feature! Skillful Word-Slinging - July 18, 2007

Occasionally I will share with you some skillful word-slinging. Here I present examples of spectacular sentences, popping passages, and delightful dialogue culled from the books, comics, movies, TV shows, etc., that I read and watch. Enjoy!
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Carter: An A’s great.
Zoe: Yeah, you get it for putting on the stupid shorts.

from Eureka ep. 2.2 “Try, Try Again” written by Charlie Craig.
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Stark: I’ve swung a lot of things that would surprise you, Sheriff.
Carter: What’s that even mean?

from Eureka ep. 2.2 “Try, Try Again” written by Charlie Craig.
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If you ask Rocket Guy will take toys down off the wall and demonstrate the ones that he could never sell. “It’s tough, trying to make toys these days,” he says. “The Consumer Product Safety Administration is so anal about how something could be misused. In the good old days, you could buy toys that, if you misused them, you could lose an eye or a finger.”

“I want to do a line of toys called ‘The Better Tomorrow Toys.’ They’re going to be designed so that if a child had an IQ below a certain level, they wouldn’t survive the toy. Stupid kids are not nearly as dangerous as stupid adults, so let’s take them out when they’re young. I know it sounds cruel, but it’s a reasonable expectation.”

from “Human Error” in Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk – quotes from Rocket Guy, Brian Walker.
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[context] The woman I didn’t know asked if I had a match. I didn’t see the cigarette she held, and thought she meant to light the piñata.[end context] I told her, and we all doubled over picturing melting gummy bears dripping like hot wax onto the outstretched hands of the blindfolded children beneath it.

Fantastic imagery!

[context] We looked to the woods where something large was making its way through the trees toward the road.[end context] In the moment before Tony and Bruce drove up – the children’s new dog barking in the car – locals and guests, we held our breath as branches broke, the magnificent rack an emblem of need that could not wait another day.

There’s some awesome alliteration and rhythm in the second highlighted sentence.

from “The Children’s Party” in Tumble Home: A Novella and Short Stories by Amy Hempel.
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By rights, Jack should have headed west when his wife, Alex, left him, but they lived in California so he drove east, folding down the visor each morning against the sun.

This is the kind of opening sentence I wish I could write.

from “Sportsman” in Tumble Home: A Novella and Short Stories by Amy Hempel.
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Stark: Yes, he said “invisibling.”

from Eureka ep. 1.3 “Before I Forget” story by Karl Schaefer, teleplay by John Rogers.