Friday, July 13, 2007

New Feature!
Shrinking the Pile - July 13, 2007


pile (pil) n. 1. informal A large accumulation or quantity. 2. A whole lot of Josh – more than necessary, or healthy.
(American Heritage Dictionary)






Shrinking the Pile is a record of my attempt to become a more healthy dude by losing a large accumulation of weight through exercise and a healthy diet.

It is my hope that a weekly accounting to the world will help to keep me focused on my progress. The exact nature and content of these posts has yet to be determined. We’ll see what develops – and simply go from there.

Starting weight: 255 lbs

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Rat: It’s called “Box Me In.” I will sell them a cardboard box and tell them to shove themselves inside it until they see results.
Goat: That’s ridiculous.
Box Me In insert: A few days after sealing the box, you will become hungry. DO NOT BE AFRAID. The box is WORKING!
(Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis)

Computer Updates

It figures. The moment I wish to turn on my computer and post a message about not posting any messages earlier in the day, I find out I need to do some software updates.

No biggie, really. It all works pretty slick with the way my MacBook is set up. It just means I had to wait even longer to make a post today.

And that post turns out to be a post about posting (and software updates). Not the most exciting.

Now I feel like eating some supper and watching a DVD. I'll get to my posting after that - later this evening. Hope you are enjoying the start of the weekend!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

100th Amazing Post - New Features

I started this blog Monday, June 4th 2007 with a post about jury duty. That seems like such a long, long time ago. Since then I’ve managed to post nearly every day – thus allowing myself an opportunity to write more and vent about all the things I do and enjoy – and, as an added bonus, have been able to keep in better contact with my friends through the comments.

And I have no intention of slowing down.

I will be adding a couple of new regular post topics to the blog. This will help fill out the week, and allow me the opportunity to write more about a couple of things that interest me. Thanks again for the attention you pay to the blog. Spread the word; I’ll be here - 100 posts strong and growing.

Here is the schedule of regular posting on the blog:

Monday: The Stacks
Tuesday: New Media
Wednesday: New Comics
Thursday: Great Escape stories
Friday: Shrinking the Pile *new feature*
Saturday: [catch up day]
Sunday: Tube Time *new feature*

Also:
Comic Thoughts
Miscellaneous reviews of books, movies, TV, etc.
Skillful Word-Slinging *new feature*

*Skillful Word-Slinging will allow me to highlight spectacular sentences and powerful passages I come across in my reading. I hope to share with you some of that skillful word-slinging that makes reading so enjoyable. (Great dialogue from movies and TV may also find its way here.)

*Shrinking the Pile - look for more information tomorrow. It’s not necessarily what you think it might be.

*Tube Time will be a weekly listing of the TV shows I’m currently watching. This feature will not start – and may have a name change – until the fall TV season kicks off. More information when the feature becomes a reality.

The Pirate Escapes VI

Here's how it works: the pirate is given five items - as varied and crazy as you can imagine - and a single scenario of peril to escape. From there, things get...interesting as the pirate attempts ANOTHER GREAT ESCAPE.

The Items (from inside your big polka-dot pockets – it’ll make sense soon):
1. Chihuahua
2. Bag of jellybeans
3. Bottle of seltzer water
4. Balloons
5. Shoehorn

The Scenario of Peril:
While walking in Chicago a mysterious black van pulls up beside you. Three men in black suits jump out, grab and toss you into the van and speed away. The men inject you with a serum that limits your mobility. You are then dressed in a clown outfit, complete with silly oversized shoes. The men stop the van and deposit you on the sidewalk in a scary-bad housing project, at night. Only then do you notice the $50 bills stapled to the clown outfit. As mobility begins to return, a group of angry youths stalk forward. (Courtesy of Erica)
---
Wearing a clown outfit outside of a circus ten is liable to get a person killed. Wearing a clown outfit with $50’s stapled to it in the projects at night is liable to get a person freakin’ killed.

Looking into the eyes of the approaching kids – and I’m sure they were all upstanding young gentlemen – I had sudden shiver of terror, and who wouldn’t? Most men would have made it in their pants, but not me. The shiver quickly passed. This was simply another night in the ghetto – in a clown suit – with a lot of money stapled to my person.

Having little time before the angry youths reached me, I quickly went to work on the balloons I found in my pocket. I assembled an army of ferocious balloon animals – a blue giraffe named Tiny, a purple monkey with an eye-patch (the result of an unfortunate accident with a blender and a banana), a red lion who was a little cowardly, a yellow seal baby, an orange hippopotamus, and a neutered green T-Rex (and believe me, there is nothing more ferocious than a T-Rex minus his marbles!). I left the army of balloon warriors behind me as the first youth stopped in front of my large, shiny red nose.

-Whatchew wearin’ my money for, clown?
-Are you on drugs?
-Yeah. So? Why you care anyway?

Instead of replying, I simply turn around and begin setting my balloon warriors between the mob and me.

-What? This ‘pose to scare us, clown?

I nod my head. I set the last of the balloon warriors at his feet. Suddenly – and with great speed – I reach into my other pockets, grabbing the Chihuahua and bottle of seltzer water. I spray the water directly into the dog’s face and toss him at the leader. I dive out of the way.

The sudden burst of water in its face sends the dog into a bloody rage. The small dog tears the leader to scraps.

Just as I suspected, the other youths – out of their minds on drugs – falsely assume that the balloon animals have come to life and are attacking. They disappear into the darkness like a candle snuffed out.

After eating such a large meal the Chihuahua staggers only a few steps after them before falling over into a food coma. I pick him back up – you can never be too sure when you might need a Chihuahua.

I open the bag of jellybeans and eat them – it is rude to not eat when others nearby are eating too. I then use the shoehorn to extract myself from the oversized clown shoes that would only serve to slow me down on my trek out of the projects. Another Great Escape, Pirate!

Oh, and you mysterious men in black. You’ve made your first and final mistake. Showing yourself to me has simply brought the pain down upon you so much sooner than you ever imagined. I will end you…you’ve been warned.
---
And that's how it is done. If you have a perilous scenario and five tools of escape to challenge me, please post them in the comments...and you will soon witness: Another Great Escape, Pirate!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk -
Review

These are dark stories. True stories. Disturbing stories. Scary stories. But through all that, there is some fun, some hope. Highly recommended.

The same can be said for all of Palahniuk’s work (Fight Club, Lullaby, Diary, etc.) This is why I find his books captivating – irresistibly good reads. I typically hesitate when it comes to non-fiction – and this book did sit on my shelf for a good long while – but once I started reading I tried so hard to read as s-l-o-w-l-y as possible so that it might last one day longer.

This collection of – true stories – is separated into three sections: People Together, Portraits, and Personal. Each section is full of tales that read like fiction, that make you question how you could have possibly not seen the world he describes. From combine demolition derbies and submarine life to castle builders and “Rocket Guy,” to searching for dead bodies in the mud and shuttling the dying around town to Brad Pitt’s lips and his father’s murder, Chuck Palahniuk presents us with a collection of tales truly Stranger Than Fiction.Chuck and Josh recommend stories by Amy Hempel – an AMAZING minimalist short-story writer. “Church Cancels Cow” - HA!

New Comics - July 11, 2007

Cover of the Week:
Green Arrow: Year One #1 by Jock
DC Comics

It’s a minimalist thing. I love the use of so much white space on this cover. The tiny pencil and ink image of Green Arrow standing ankle-deep in a lightly painted ocean just speaks of isolation. And if you know the origin of Green Arrow – shipwrecked and stranded on a deserted island – then the cover works. I’m not messing with the image quality of this one…click and enjoy.

This is a weekly list of the new comics I picked up at my local comic book shop, Mayhem Comics.

Green Arrow: Year One #1
Countdown #42
Justice Society of America #7
Shadowpact #15
X-Factor #21
The New Avengers #32
Punisher War Journal #9

Clubbing (GN)
Battlestar Galactica vol. 1 (TPB)
Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters (TPB)

Watch for thoughts or quick reviews when a comic requires the extra attention.

The Coolest Computer Program EVER

I found what has to be the coolest program I’ve ever run on a computer. The program, Delicious Library, allows me to catalog all the books, movies, music, and games I own by simply scanning their barcodes using the built-in webcam on my MacBook. The program then pulls – from a partnership of sorts with Amazon.com – all the information like: artwork, release date, stars, genres, ratings, running time, retail price, current value, Amazon customer ratings, summaries, and much, much more. This connection with Amazon provides recommendations of similar materials you might enjoy, while also allowing you to buy and sell items through Amazon with the click of a button. It’s an amazing example of synergy and only ran me $40 (I didn't cough up the extra $180 for a Bluetooth barcode reader - even though it would be really cool to have one).
I’ve only just begun playing around with the program, but it seems to be working real well and is a ton of fun. Check out the website to learn more about the coolness I’m enjoying. You poor, poor, PC-users.

Eureka ep. 2.1 - "Phoenix Rising" Review

The second season of Eureka starts out strong with this episode picking up a month after the season one finale.

As a result of Henry messing with the time stream in last season’s finale, Sheriff Carter and Henry are the only two people in Eureka who remember four years of a perfect future life. This knowledge is not sitting well with either man.

While Carter and Henry struggle to move past their memories, people in Eureka start bursting into flame. [How cool is it that I get to write about a show where people bursting into flame is just par for the course?!] While Carter investigates, Stark is released from his position as Director of Global Dynamics due to his tampering with the artifact. It was his experimenting that left Kim dead and the artifact…well, no one knows, “dead” maybe? In a surprising twist, Allison becomes Stark’s replacement as Director.

All this doesn’t fit with the idyllic future Carter once lived. Carter loses faith as Allison and he drift father apart instead of closer together. Henry cobbles together a device that will allow the two men to forget the future they once lived, and after explaining that Henry will never forgive Carter for allowing Kim to die, Henry erases Carter’s memory of the future.

Only, Henry doesn’t do the same to himself. Instead, he’s off to work for Global Dynamics, but with what sinister motives?

Oh, and the artifact? Turns out that all that energy can’t just disappear. It simply moved somewhere else. Like, inside Kevin, Allison’s autistic son. Interesting…

The visual effects in this show continue to amaze me. Just like the effects in Battlestar Galactica, I am surprised that they can do as much – and as realistically – as they can with a TV budget. I could print off screen captures from the show – Henry standing between the explosion of the artifact and Kim, for example – that are simply mind-blowing.

The show is a little unfriendly to new viewers (and my review as well – I assume in my review a knowledge of the characters and series), but I think the underlying mystery and the quirkiness of the characters could draw even those new viewers in. It also helps that the website and recaps are full of all the information you need to fully enjoy the individual episodes.

Next episode: Fargo messes around with a force-field generator and the town is in peril.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Review

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is the latest adaptation of the mega-popular children series to hit the big screen.

I went to the packed midnight showing early this morning with my grandma – my midnight showing movie buddy. Playing on three screens in the theater, this was the largest audience to show up for the first screening of a movie this year at our theater. Composed mostly of high school age kids – or younger – this was the audience the movie was made for.

I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I still believe that what makes these movies so successful are the actors and actresses they cast to bring these characters to life. Each and every one does a fantastic job with their character. The new additions to the Potter universe – Luna Lovegood, Dolores Umbridge, and Bellatrix Lestrange – fit in perfectly with how I imagined them in my mind. They practically steal every scene they appear in. Luna Lovegood, in particular, is hilarious to watch on screen.

While the characters shine, I am a bit let down by the lack of a unique visual style. With the exception of Prisoner of Azkaban, this has been a consistent weakness of all the Potter movies. The style of new Potter director David Yates is serviceable to the story, but after being blown away with the world of Potter presented through the visuals in Azkaban, I suppose I came to expect more from these movies. In a world full of magic and awesome sights I simply expect to be blown away with what I see up on the screen.

Not to say I was completely unimpressed with the visual effects. I would be very interested to see the last 20 minutes of the movie in 3D on the IMAX. Even on a regular screen we a presented with a spectacular battle between Harry and the Order and Voldemort and his Death Eaters. The epic wizarding battle between Dumbledore and Voldemort shows just how awesomely powerful those little wooden wands can be.

The movie felt rushed, even at 2 hours 18 minutes. Movie freak that I am – and Harry Potter fan – I truly believe they should have started breaking each installment, from Goblet of Fire on, into two separate movies, bringing more of the novel story to the screen. Release the first part and then three months later release the second part. It’s win/win, really. The studio makes a ton more money, and we Potter fans get a more realized Harry Potter adventure on screen.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, out now, is playing in nearly every theater and well worth seeing on the big screen. This trip back into the Potter-verse has only made me that much more anxious for the final novel to reach stores July 21, 2007.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Comic Thoughts - Week of July 5, 2007

Short bursts of thought about comics I purchased and read the week of July 5, 2007.

Stephen King’s The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born #6: I still enjoy this series mainly for the beautiful art, because the story has been told already – with much more depth – in the Dark Tower novels. Still, what I do enjoy are the historical text pieces that run at the end of each issue, delving into the history of Mid-World and the Gunslingers. Next issue is the conclusion of this limited series, but I’ll cross my trigger fingers that we get a return – in comic form – to the world of the Dark Tower.

Countdown #43: For such a somber issue, things are finally starting to pick up. This week featured a pretty standard funeral for a hero, Bart Allen – the Flash. Jason Todd and Donna Troy are off to the Nanoverse in search of the missing Ray Palmer (the Atom); apparently he’s the key to saving the Multiverse. Trickster and Pied Piper are shot down in the parking lot outside of the funeral – although I doubt they’re dead. I am, however, curious as to what happens next with the pair of not-so-rouge rouges. It was also interesting to see Harleen Quinzel – the Joker’s former girl, Harley Quinn – hanging out with the Amazons and chatting with Holly. Jimmy decides to use his powers to become a hero instead of simply snapping photos of heroes. And finally, Forerunner learns that Monarch wishes her to lead his army against the Monitors. Oh, and that some mysterious woman has killed the rest of her race – nothing like the revelation of genocide to fully commit a person to your cause. All in all, a good week of dangling plot threads interesting enough to keep me hooked on the weekly Countdown, even if the art by Manuel Garcia with David Lopez was not so strong.

Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #5: Seeing as I don’t follow the monthly Army of Darkness series, I won’t know if this crossover will have any lasting effects, but it was quite fun to read. The ending was great, but I’d heard the next Marvel adventure would feature the Marvel Apes, not Marvel Werewolves. Oh well, either way it would be a whole bunch of fun if they ran with one or the other of these zany ideas.

Justice League Unlimited #35: This story gets the series back on track after a few lower-quality issues in a row. It’s the return of kids’ comics with a message – this issue: “With time I’ll find my own place in the crazy old world.” Starring Steel, and Steel’s niece Natasha, the story also had some good old superhero fun, as well. Nice old-fashioned entertainment.

Detective Comics #834: A decent enough conclusion to the two-part team-up between Batman and Zatanna. The best thing about the issue was the nice character moment at the end where Batman forgives Zatanna for mind-wiping him, as seen back during the phenomenal Identity Crisis.

Nightwing #134: A strong issue, but nothing much to write home about. It’s just simple, straightforward, superhero-ing.

Faker #1: An interesting new mini-series from Vertigo Comics, written by Mike Carey, with art by Jock. I couldn’t begin to tell you what the comic is about. No clue. It has something to do with a group of college friends who lie, steal – fake – their way through college and life. By the end of the issue one friend finds that no one but his close friends even knows he exists, while another of the group is left shouting crazy ramblings from the top of a clock tower. Where this will all go, I do not know. And I won’t know until the trade comes out. I can wait until then, when it’s cheaper.

Black Canary #1: Black Canary has been a favorite character of mine since her guest appearance in The Ray, one of those forgotten series – but much loved by me – from the 90’s. She’s one of those “legacy characters” I love so much – her mom having been Black Canary back in the 40’s and 50’s as a member of the Justice Society. In this mini-series, Canary is attempting to decide whether or not to marry her long-time, on-again/off-again love, Green Arrow. She’s also trying to find a “normal” life for her adopted young girl, Sin – who was once being trained to replace the world’s premiere fighter, Lady Shiva, of the League of Assassins. Mix in an ex-husband and a villain from her past and this mini is rocking along (and not just because of the army of Elvis assassins, either).

Outsiders #49: The crossover with Checkmate concludes this issue, setting both series up for some major changes. Next month Batman takes over as leader of the Outsiders, and the book goes weekly while Batman selects his new team. However, if the Countdown promo piece is any indication of the new team – and it appears to be just that – then we are simply looking at two new members – Martian Manhunter and Catwoman – and the loss of Nightwing as leader and Thunder. Even if the roster is spoiled, I still look forward to this amazing series.

All Star Superman #8: An issue set entirely on Bizarro World. The thing with Bizarro is that I am easily annoyed with all the opposite talking that occurs – Bizarro is a messed up duplicate of Superman who speaks only in opposites. While this bothers me to read, the opposite version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” that is sung in the issue is genius. This is a Grant Morrison Superman title, so it is well-written, but kind of out there and either amazing or frustrating, depending on your mood.

Eureka: Season 2 Begins Tonight

Finally, some TV coverage for the blog. Up until this point, there was nothing on TV that demanded my attention.

The second season of the Sci Fi channel's amazing show, Eureka, beings tonight at 9/8C. I loved watching this quirky show last summer and looked forward to its return. The show is about a small town with big secrets. Follow this link to the show's homepage to learn more about the town of Eureka, last season's episodes, and much, much more.

As if the return of Eureka wasn't enough, it appears that Sci Fi will be airing a preview of the upcoming Battlestar Galactica TV movie - Battlestar Galactica: Razor. This movie will have to keep us satisfied until the new - and final - season starts in early 2008.

I'll be posting my thoughts after each episode. Look for them the following day - unless I get swamped with work, in that case it'll be up as soon as possible.

New Media - July 10, 2007

New media arrives in stores on Tuesdays, so once a week – I try to limit myself to once a week – I go shopping for new books, DVDs, and music.

Here’s a taste of what has been added to my collection in the past week.

DVDs:
Not Another Teen Movie
Weeds: Season 1 (TV series)

Look for these materials to join The Stacks in the near future. Some might even sneak by The Stacks and end up mentioned here before you know it.

Monday, July 9, 2007

A Slow Day

What a day. I managed to put off any and all work. I slept until 11. I watched some DVDs, and I read. That's it. That's all I did.

I might have been better off having shoveled some more sand. At least then I'd have felt like today even happened. Not that I'm complaining. The DVDs and the reading were entertaining. That counts for quite a bit.

Tomorrow I plan to do all the work - filling out job applications, cleaning, working on my stories - I planned to do today. Also, I'll be seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at midnight. Could be a full day. Let's hope.

The Stacks - July 9, 2007

The Stacks, a weekly list of all I’m currently reading, or watching on DVD. New materials added are underlined.

Books:
Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment by James Patterson
The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe
The Dark Tower (Dark Tower book 7) by Stephen King
Nightwatch by Sergei Lukayaneko
On Writing by Stephen King
Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

Magazines:
Paste issue 32, June 2007

DVDs:
The Rock
Weeds: Season 1 (TV Series)
Deadwood: Season 3 (TV series)
Futurama: Season 2 (TV series)
Black Snake Moan
Venture Bros: Season 1 (TV series)
Hex: Season 1 (TV series)

Comics:
JSA Presents: Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. vol. 1 (TPB)
Blood: A Tale (TPB)
The Other Side (GN)
Beyond! (TPB)
Wasteland vol. 1 (TPB)
Pearls Before Swine: Sgt. Piggy’s Lonely Hearts Club Comic (Treasury)
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (GN)

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Gone, Baby, Gone Trailer

The trailer for the movie Gone, Baby, Gone, based on the novel by Dennis Lehane, is up on Yahoo! Movies. The movie, directed by Ben Affleck (and I know there are a lot of Affleck-haters out there, but give the man a chance at directing – this actually looks to be smartly made), stars Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman, and Ed Harris, and opens in limited release October 19, 2007.

Gone, Baby, Gone, the fourth book in a series of five, features private detectives Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro searching for a missing little girl. They mix it up with the cops and the people of the streets in Boston. It’s a hard-hitting and emotional crime/mystery/thriller. I can’t say enough good things about this series of books by Dennis Lehane (author of the also fantastic Mystic River - made into a movie a few years back by Clint Eastwood). Anyway, the trailer looks great and I’ll be in line opening day – and it better open here in Des Moines, or I’ll be forced to make the drive and see it somewhere else.