Happy Wedding Day, Alissa! Updated July 8, 2007 9:56 AM

My cousin, Alissa, is getting married this afternoon. She's the first of my cousins - she's my age - to get married.

It's supposedly a very popular day - 7.7.07 - to get married. It is a lot of sevens (good luck, right?), and it is easy to remember. It looks like it will be a beautiful day for the...mini-golfing.

Yeah. I said it. "Mini-golfing." It's not like the weather impacts the wedding that much. It is inside a church. Still, maybe there are outdoor pictures, or something. In that case, sure, the weather is beautiful for that as well.

It's a pretty sweet deal for all the wedding guests - the mini-golf. After the ceremony, but before the reception - at a golf course - we get free games of mini-golf. That's some smart thinking. It keeps our big family...occupied.

But enough about the mini-golf. Congratulations to Alissa and Mike! I hope you have a terrific day and a wonderful life together.

Update (July 8, 2007 9:56 AM):
Here's a picture of the happy couple leaving the church.

Oh. The mini-golf? It was hot. I still managed a hole-in-one, and a final score of 5 over par - winning the game in my group.

A Good Ride

I went out this morning for a 21.03 mile bike ride with my mom (her first time out this year), Ry, Jake, and three of the uncles - Steve, Scott, and John. It felt like it was going to be a hot and humid ride, but after we started, I barely even noticed the heat or the humidity. That made for a very nice ride. We rode on the trail from Altoona to Pleasant Hill, and back.

I mainly stayed back and rode with my mom. We averaged a respectable 10.6 mph for over 20 miles of riding. That's not bad for a first ride. I was glad for the easier ride today. The past week has taken a toll - a lot of heat and a lot of hard work.

Riding bike alone is okay (as long as I have my music), but going with a group is so much more enjoyable. Without the group, the only person I could laugh at when they fall over would be me - and that's no fun. Steve couldn't get unclipped in time today, and he fell. We all had a good laugh. But I can't say much because I've come so close too many times myself.

The Pirate Escapes V

Here's how it works: the pirate is given five items - as varied and crazy as you can imagine - and a single scenario of peril to escape. From there, things get...interesting as the pirate attempts ANOTHER GREAT ESCAPE.

The Items:
1. Blindfold
2. Stick of dynamite
3. Wallet made of duct-tape
4. Cassette tape of Air Supply’s Greatest Hits
5. 15 inches of rope

The Scenario of Peril:
You’ve been blindfolded and thrown out of a helicopter into the desert. Your hands are tied, and you’ve fallen from 12 feet up. (Courtesy of Erica)
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I fall and land properly, rolling to my side, and avoid breaking any bones. I drag my face over the rough ground to loosen the blindfold. It slips free from my head.

Finally able to see again, I spot a sharp rock – a rock I narrowly avoided during my impromptu crash landing – and use it to cut the rope, freeing my hands.

I now have two, equal, 7½-inch sections of rope. I stuff them in my pocket to use later.

I can see the helicopter still hovering above me. Watching.

I quickly peel apart my wallet made of duct-tape. I grab a baseball-sized rock and use the duct-tape to secure the stick of dynamite to it. I toss the rock/dynamite combination up at the hovering helicopter before the pilot can react.

The explosion outside the helicopter startles the pilot. He suddenly loses control of the bladed beast, and it gently falls to the ground.

I rush up and quickly bind the dazed pilot’s thumbs together using my two small sections of rope. I look the helicopter over and determine it is still capable of flight.

I hop into the pilot’s seat, jam my cassette tape of Air Supply’s Greatest Hits into the deck, and take off. What could have been a grizzly demise in a barren desert turned into, Another Great Escape, Pirate!
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And that's how it is done. If you have a perilous scenario and five tools of escape to challenge me, please post them in the comments...and you will soon witness: Another Great Escape, Pirate!

Best News of the Decade

It's here, it's here. It's finally here!

Monster Squad - my favorite monster mover ever - finally finds a 2-Disc 20th Anniversary Edition DVD release date: July 24, 2007. I'll be on RAGBRAI at the time, so I'll just order it off of Amazon (for $14.99). I'll make sure it's the first thing I watch when I get home.

I remember renting this movie about every fourth trip to the video store. It's right up there with Better Off Dead as one of the most rented - and watched - movies of my childhood. This is just such fantastic news for me! I'm going to be happy all day long.

Now, if Disney would just release Condorman, my childhood would be nearly captured and up on a shelf to pull out and enjoy whenever I so desire.

New Comics - July 5, 2007

Cover of the Week:
Stephen King’s The Dark Tower:
The Gunslinger Born #6
by Jae Lee
Marvel Comics

It could be as simple as the fact it features a girl with a gun. Oh heck, I’m kidding no one. It is because it features a girl with a gun. I have been very impressed with how well Richard Isanove paints Jae Lee’s shadow-heavy and moody pencils. This series is what it is because of the art.

This is a weekly list of the new comics I picked up at my local comic book shop, Mayhem Comics.

Nightwing #134
Countdown #43
Outsiders #3
All Star Superman #8
Faker #1
Detective Comics #834
Black Canary #1
Justice League Unlimited #35
Stephen King’s The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born #6
Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness #5

Outsiders vol. 6: Pay As You Go (TPB)
The Damned vol. 1: Three Days Dead (TPB)

Watch for thoughts or quick reviews when a comic requires the extra attention.

Comic Thoughts - Week of June 27, 2007

Short bursts of thought about comics I purchased and read the week of June 27, 2007.

Wonder Woman #10: While novelist Jodi Picoult (The Tenth Circle) writes a strong Wonder Woman, this whole Amazons Attack event - of which this issue is a tie-in - is playing out as only mediocre to me. The far superior levels of destruction witnessed in World War Hulk have me a lot more engaged.

Countdown #44: This was a slower week than the last couple. After a talk with Billy Batson (the former Captain Marvel – now something much more), Mary decides to pursue her destiny alone, while Jimmy Olsen seeks out trouble to better understand his random super-power appearances (this week channeling some powers that resemble those of Forerunner). And speaking of Forerunner, she listens closely to Monarch speak of her place as a warrior in the upcoming war. All this is fine and good, but what really impressed me this week was the art by relative unknown, Carlos Magno. He has some sharp-looking pencils – nice figures, dynamic poses, interesting panels. He also draws attractive women – something prevalent in this issue, especially the splash page of Holly finding help at an Amazonian women’s shelter. Here is an artist to watch. I hope he shows up in Countdown again. Soon.

Amazons Attack! #3: This issue reminds me a bit of the TV series, 24. The president has implemented the McCarran Act – allowing the government to arrest and detain suspicious individuals - any one with Amazonian ties, i.e. those women’s shelters I mentioned earlier. They did the same thing in 24 this season with anyone Islamic. What added a bit of spark to this mediocre series was the revelation of a mysterious second party urging this war on. The sudden appearance of Supergirl and Wonder Girl on the side of the Amazons – halting Air Force One in mid-air – gave us a nice little cliffhanger of an ending.

Blue Beetle #16: Another hilarious and strong issue. The issue features guest villain, Eclipso – the wrath of God – and guest star, Traci 13 – super-powerful teen magician/detective. I like how this series explores both being a teenager and a reluctant superhero. If I had to pick a book to recommend to someone new to comics – superhero comics – this would be that book. It also contained the line of the week from Traci 13’s banter with Eclipso:

“‘Cuz you suck. I’m not the only one thinks that. Batman’s file on you? ‘Eclipso. Power: Sucking.’”

It’s just funny to imagine Batman having a file that says that.

X-Factor #20: This was a good conclusion to all that’s been building over the past 19 issues. I’m a bit concerned that the big X-Men event and crossover – “Endangered Species” – is going to mess with one of my favorite Marvel comics, but I’ll try a little optimism. Writer Peter David deserves that much simply for the fantastic job he’s done with the series thus far.

The Immortal Iron Fist #6: This is the conclusion to “The Last Iron First Story.” And it’s a doozy. I love me some kung fu, and this is one superior kung-fu comic. All of it, from the tough-guy noir writing of Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker, to the dark, moody art of Daniel Aja – all of it works together to dropkick you smack in the head. The flashbacks and sense of history – a legacy – have fascinated and interested me from the start. It reminds me a lot of Starman or JSA because of the depth a legacy aspect adds to all these series.

She-Hulk #19: The comic finally gets back to its superhuman-lawyering roots. And that is a good thing, that is what got me hooked on the series in the first place. We have the trial of the Leader (a Hulk villain) and the upcoming lawsuit against Tony Stark (Iron Man), so I’m sure we’ll get more of that lawyer-y fun. The issue also featured the return of Pug, who has a mysterious new job. Back to its root, make She-Hulk mine!

Under A Blazing Sun

60 oz. water
32 oz. Glacier Freeze Gatorade
6-inch sub sandwich
4-pack Soft Batch chocolate chip cookies (minus 1 cookie)
snack-size bag of salted peanuts

and a 32 oz. Diet Coke while driving home

This is apparently what it takes to complete a 41.19 mile bike ride at 14.1 mph. In the blazing-hot sun. Riding for just under 3 hours.

I rode with Steve and some of his buddies from UPS and Irwin's Bike Shop. It was a pretty fantastic day - except for the heat - for a bike ride. If we had started at 5 or 6 in the morning we might have missed some of the heat, but that's fine. It's good practice for RAGBRAI - even though we will be starting early, we'll still catch some of that July heat.

We rode the Chichaqua Bike Trail from Bondurant to Baxter. I took it easy riding the first 10 miles, and then after a short rest, Steve and I kicked it up a notch. After lunch in Baxter at the Kountry Korner gas station, I rode another quick, quick 10 miles. The last 10 I cruised slowly in the back of the back.

This was a great ride for me. I didn't feel too out of shape - I hadn't ridden since June 20th - and I was able to still walk afterwards. This puts me at about 554 miles for the year. I'm too far away from my goal of 1,000 by RAGBRAI, but I might get 750. It's all gravy training after 500 miles.

Ratatouille Review

Ratatouille is a smart comedy. This seems like a weird thing to say in relation to an animated movie, but it is a Pixar flick, so I suppose that’s to be expected. I just think it funny that one of the smarter movies I saw this summer happened to be a cartoon. Not that I mind. In fact, this is the type of animated movie I prefer. I’ll take smart cartoon over a Shrek-like comedy any day.

Ratatouille is the story of a rat, Remy, who was blessed/cursed with a sense of taste and lack of fear for humans – both big no-no’s in the rat world. After being separated from his family in a hilarious incident with an old woman and a shotgun, Remy finds his way into the former 5-star Parisian restaurant, Gusteau’s. Here the movie truly beings.

Remy soon meets up with Linguini, your typical hapless – human – loser, who is happy enough to simply have his job as dishwasher and garbage boy. In predictable movie fashion, the two decide to team up: Linguini, who couldn’t cook to feed his own starving mother (if she was still alive), and Remy, the “little chef” who – like anyone (one theme of the movie) – can cook quite well. Shenanigans occur, and things end up like you would expect.

Ratatouille is another strong animated movie from the Pixar studio. While not as funny or fun as The Incredibles or Toy Story, the movie is worth seeing in the theater for nothing other than the incredible CGI animation. The rats are beautifully rendered, and the camera movement places you smack dab in the middle of all the action.

The animated short, “Lifted,” that runs before the feature is quite funny. Not my favorite of the shorts – the one with the dancing lamb still cracks me up – but still worth the price of the theater ticket alone. The short, short preview for Pixar’s next release, Wall-E, about a tiny robot “discovering what he’s meant for” looks very promising.

Whether you are a lover of food, or simply enjoy a smart, animated flick, Ratatouille is a dish worth sampling.

My Poor Hands

My poor, poor hands. It's almost as if I'd been working with them for the past week, using them to build...something. A garage? Yeah, that explains it! My hands are so dry (from being completely covered in concrete), so banged up (small, but painful, cuts and blisters), and so stiff (from just being used so damn much). They're real man hands now. They do ache, though.

And let me tell you: my job as "human skidloader" - shoveling and moving dirt - made the rest of my muscles (yeah, nearly all in my body) a bit sore today. Construction is hard work, especially if you are more than a little out of shape.

Oh well, I'm only getting stronger. Soon I'll be impossible to tell apart from a super-strong robot.

New Media - July 3, 2007

New media arrives in stores on Tuesdays, so once a week – I try to limit myself to once a week – I go shopping for new books, DVDs, and music.

Here’s a taste of what has been added to my collection in the past week.

Books:
Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay
The Devil You Know by Mike Carey

DVDs:
The Rock
The Unit: Season 1 (TV series)
Eureka: Season 1 (TV series)
Batman Beyond: Season 2 (TV series)
How I Met Your Mother: Season 1 (TV series)

Music:
Live at the Gorge 05/06 by Pearl Jam

Look for these materials to join The Stacks in the near future. Some might even sneak by The Stacks and end up mentioned here before you know it.

Prime is King! Transformers Review

I went into this movie without high expectations – a rarity for me. Ever since the first advertisement, I was a bit disappointed by the Transformers’ look. There were too many pieces. They looked too much like walking scrap metal. There was not enough of the “robots in disguise” I knew, and loved, from my childhood. I went into the movie with the expectation that I would not enjoy what I saw.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Optimus Prime is king! Transformers is a mind-blowing, head-spinning, blockbuster success. I won't be able to say enough good things about this movie. Who’da thunk it? A movie based on an 80’s cartoon in which vehicles – and even dinosaurs – turned into robots…please.

Which begs the question: How in Zeus’ buttcrack did they pull this one off?! The movie was – in a word – frantic. The characters ran around as if fueled by liquid crack. The special effects were so impressive that you eventually just gave up the notion that these robots were not real. And to top it all off, the movie is hilarious. I was initially a bit concerned about the humor I saw in a couple of clips on TV, but man was I wrong. The humor fit and gave the movie a second level to enjoy.

It was just a few days ago that I was shoveling praise on Live Free or Die Hard. Taking nothing away from Live Free, I have to – with all the tiny power of this blog – deliver a heap of praise on Transformers, as well. The movie is flat out a-maze-ing!

Spidey, who? Pirates of what? All hail Transformers! Go. See. It.

A Whole Lot of Music - June Reviews

Once: Music From the Motion Picture
This is a great soundtrack to the indie-musical, Once. I don’t know much about the story of the movie, but the songs are fantastic. I’d guess it’s a love story because the songs reflect that love. Both the man, Glen Hansard (of the band, The Frames), and the woman, Marketa Irglova, have solid, folksy voices.

Solid Tracks: “Falling Slowly” - “When Your Mind’s Made Up” - “The Hill” - “Leave” - “Once”
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Truth in Sincerity by Amber Pacific
I first became aware of the group, Amber Pacific, while on vacation in Wisconsin. My cousin Beth was convinced that the song we were listening to was by Amber Pacific, but I doubted her – I didn’t believe there was even a band called Amber Pacific. Turns out I was wrong. And that, wow, they are pretty good. They sound a lot like Yellowcard and New Found Glory. It’s just great, rockin’ summer music.

Solid Tracks: “Summer (In B)” – “Temporary” – “You’re Only Young Once” – “Follow Your Dreams, Forget the Scene” – “Fall Back Into My Life” – “Watching Over Me”
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Riot! by Paramore
Earlier on I proclaimed my love for Paramore’s first CD, All We Know Is Falling. Their second release blows their first clean away. It’s fantastic. It’s one of those CD’s you can listen to, and listen to, and never get bored with– at least, I haven’t yet. This CD will have a permanent place in my bike tunes for the summer! (If you purchase the disc at Best Buy it comes with three bonus tracks – 1 extra track, 1 live cut, and 1 demo.)

Solid Tracks: “For A Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic” – “Hallelujah” – “When It Rains” – “Let the Flames Begin” – “We Are Broken” – “Fences”
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Icky Thump by The White Stripes
The White Stripes have always been “mood” music for me. Their brand of fuzzy rock is something I enjoy only when I’m in the mood for that type of rock. That said, this is a pretty good album. I am enjoying it more than I did Get Behind Me Satan, but not as much as Elephant. It's classic White Stripes, with a bit of a European folk sound on a couple of tracks. If you enjoy the band’s music, the CD is worth purchasing.

Solid Tracks: “Icky Thump” – “You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You’re Told)” – “Conquest” – “Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn” – “A Martyr For My Love For You”
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Easy Tiger by Ryan Adams
This album falls somewhere between Adams’ more rocking sound (Gold) and his more country sound (Cold Roses). Not quite as enjoyable as Gold, I still found this to be a strong album. Adams keeps pumping the music out – at least a CD a year – and if you can handle that country/folk/rock blend, then that’s a great thing for you.

Strong Tracks: “Goodnight Rose” – “Everybody Knows” – “Halloweenhead” – “The Sun Also Sets” – “Pearls on a String”
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My December by Kelly Clarkson
It’s a shame Clarkson had to cancel her tour supporting the new album because it’s not half bad. In fact, I enjoy it quite a bit. Clarkson has a very nice voice – easy to listen to. Sure, some of the songs have lame lyrics, but I can overlook that if they sound nice to me. The album is just as entertaining as Breakaway, even if it doesn’t have as many “radio” songs on it.

Strong Tracks: “Never Again” – “Sober” – “Haunted” – “How I Feel” – “Yeah”
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Live at the Gorge 05/06 by Pearl Jam
I love that Pearl Jam keeps releasing entire concerts live on CD. This 7-disc collection covers the band's performances at the Gorge, an outdoor amphitheater in central Washington, from September 5, 2005 and July 22 & 23, 2006. I’ve only made it through the first three discs, but the band knows how to put on a live show. This feels like the ultimate collection for any Pearl Jam fan. Now, if I could just actually see them live…

Strong Tracks: every single one – it’s a love letter of sound to a Jam fan

Movie Reviews - Paris, je t'aime & Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

These movie reviews were lost in the shuffle around my vacation to Wisconsin. As much as I enjoyed them, I felt required say something - better late than never - about them.
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Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
I decided that since they had lowered the rating from the first Fantastic Four movie down to a PG, I should see this movie as I would have when I was a little kid. I bought a popcorn and a large Blue Raspberry Icee. I sat with my sandals kicked off and slurped my Icee until my lips turned blue, literally.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer was an entertaining superhero movie. I think I even enjoyed it more than I did Spiderman 3. This movie had focus. While the story was pure popcorn fluff, you didn’t feel like you were being short-changed of any of the action on screen. My big complaint with Spidey was that there was not enough time for Sandman, or for Venom. Both were very interesting villains with good stories, but I wanted more from each of them.

The great: No wasted time in the story – it’s a short, full, 1 hour 30 minute explosion of comic-y goodness. Jessica Alba as Sue Storm finally had a blonde hair that was more believable to me. The Surfer was a great special effect and very believable as a character – motion-captured by Doug Jones and voiced by Laurence Fishburne. The Hemi-power Dodge-branded Fantasticar was a pretty sweet ride.

The not-so: What’s up with the massive amount of blue-eyeliner Alba wears?! Galactus as a giant storm cloud? Even though it fits with his Ultimate universe appearance, I was kind of hoping for the big dude with the funky purple helmet. There was a bit too much slap-sticky humor – even though I realize they are simply trying to make the movie more entertaining for younger children.

Overall: If you are in the mood for a quick superhero story with great special effects, then this is your flick. I really enjoyed the movie and it stands up well with its blockbuster summer competition.
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Paris, je t’aime
I saw this movie the same day I saw Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. In keeping with the same attitude, I decided to enjoy this movie with a Coke and a Toblerone candy bar – just as I might if I was really in Paris.

Paris, je t’aime (Paris, I love you) is essentially a love story to the city of Paris, France. Presented in 18 segments, and written and directed by a varied group of filmmakers, Paris, je t’aime is an art-y, entertaining success. I don’t know if I enjoyed this movie so much more because I had been to Paris before, but I like to think that even if I hadn’t been, I still would have been captivated by the city and these stories.

I found the following segments to be the most enjoyable: “Montmartes” by Bruno Podalydes; “Tuileries” by Joel and Ethan Coen; “Pere-Lachaise” by Wes Craven; and “Quartier de la Madeleine” by Vincenzo Natali. The segments ranged in stories from finding a parking space and love to vampires to the importance of tourists minding their own business while waiting for the Metro.

This is an art-y movie. And some of segments are a little out there. The reaction from the old lady next to me in the theater at the end of “Quartier de la Madeleine,” which featured vampires and was shot in a Sin City noir-style, was hilarious: “That’s the worst thing I’ve seen.” It just shows that not every segment will appeal to every person. But with 18 segments and 18 different views of such an engaging city, you are sure to find something to enjoy. I did.

The Stacks - July 2, 2007

The Stacks, a weekly list of all I’m currently reading, or watching on DVD. New materials added are underlined.

Books:
Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment by James Patterson
The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe
The Dark Tower (Dark Tower book 7) by Stephen King
Nightwatch by Sergei Lukayaneko
On Writing by Stephen King
Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

Magazines:
Paste issue 32, June 2007

DVDs:
Deadwood: Season 3 (TV series)
Futurama: Season 2 (TV series)
Black Snake Moan
Venture Bros: Season 1 (TV series)
Hex: Season 1 (TV series)

Comics:
JSA Presents: Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. vol. 1 (TPB)
Blood: A Tale (TPB)
The Other Side (GN)
Beyond! (TPB)
Wasteland vol. 1 (TPB)
Pearls Before Swine: Sgt. Piggy’s Lonely Hearts Club Comic (Treasury)
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (GN)

Look for reviews/thoughts of selected materials from The Stacks…when I finish something. Anything.

Put Off For Another Day

I was going to get some reviews up on the blog today. Turns out, I won't.

However, I did get some comics read, some shows on DVD watched, and even managed another trip to see Live Free or Die Hard. I took notes for my reviews/thoughts, but when it came down to typing things up - well, that would be now, and I am tired. I don't believe tomorrow will be a long day at work, so I'll get those reviews up then.

I hope everyone has a great week. We do have a holiday in there; that should be fun.

I'm off to bed. The pirate sleeps...